Hard Times

Hard Times Café is not for the faint hearted.  For starters the place is dirty.  I’m not talking the tables need to be wiped off, I mean more like a hazmat team should be deployed.  I’m not a germaphob either, but dude, get a bucket and sponge.   Do not use the bathroom.  I mean it!  Go anywhere else but here.  Not only is the john disgusting, it smells like pee.  Cleaning it wouldn’t help either.  I think the only solution would be one of those guns that shoots fire.

Anyone who has been there knows the rules, look at the menu, write down order with name and price and pay with cash only.  That’s all good.  The bad part was waiting an hour to get our food.  My friend, Anna and I have no problem carrying on a great conversation, but when you are hungry and it’s been 60 minutes you start to get quiet and give death stares.  The cook is lucky he was so cute.

First, Anna ordered a tasty vegan cranberry orange muffin, for herself.  Little did she know I would scarf down some of it while we were waiting.  Seriously, I almost passed out from hunger. She then had vegan b&g (that’s biscuits and gravy)with a fake sausage thing.  I ordered the seitan gyro, but was jealous of Anna and her b&g, so really didn’t enjoy my choice a whole lot.  Poor gyros didn’t stand a chance.  I’d give it a 6 out of 10.

The best part of Hard Times is the great people watching.  We sat at the bar deal and reminisced about when we were in our twenties and knew everything.  Anna liked to watch the college boys…as they were leaving (ahem) and I enjoyed trying to figure out which sex certain people were.  Oh, another great thing, it’s way cheap and most of the food is wicked good.  That muffin that we shared was majorly delicious.

If you can get passed the nastiness, it’s worth a trip.  Be sure to bring plenty of cash (taking home baked goods is a grand idea) and quarters for parking.